'Our kids need to be taught about toxic behaviour'

The mother of a teenage girl who was murdered by her boyfriend is calling for an extended curriculum to teach schoolchildren about toxic and dangerous behaviour.

Ellie Gould, 17, was stabbed to death with a kitchen knife at her home in Calne, Wiltshire, by Thomas Griffiths in May 2019 after she tried to end their relationship.

Her mother, Carol Gould, believes extra lessons in schools could have saved her daughter's life. The current statutory requirement for RSE lessons ends at age 16 and Gould would like this extended to 18.

Along with a group of campaigners, Gould met with the Education Secretary Bridget Phillipson at Westminster earlier to discuss a potential change in the law.

During the meeting, Phillipson reaffirmed her "personal commitment" to the change, though no specific timeframes were given for reform.

The RSE curriculum focuses on mental and sexual health, consent, puberty, bullying, online safety, and maintaining respectful relationships.

Gould told the BBC that Griffiths was her daughter's first boyfriend, and she was not equipped to recognise the "subtle" signs of emotional abuse.

"The relationship was very fast - he was talking about marriage and children while she was looking at university prospectuses," she said.

Gould said Griffiths had grown "obsessed with Ellie within a matter of weeks", and shortly before her death, he began "acting very strange".

• If you have been affected by any of the issues raised in this story, information and support can be found at the BBC's Action Line.

She recalls him "showering Ellie with gifts" early on in the relationship, which she now recognises as 'love-bombing' - a manipulation tactic where someone overwhelms a person with excessive affection and praise to gain control over them.

He also attempted to disrupt Ellie's studies while she revised for A-Level mock exams - a form of coercive control known as "educational sabotage".

Just three months after attending Ellie's 17th birthday, Griffiths went to the schoolgirl's home and stabbed her repeatedly in the neck during a frenzied attack.

He later staged the scene to make it look like a suicide before returning to school.

Gould believes better awareness around healthy relationships could help to counteract "toxic, misogynistic material" circulating online, which teenagers are often exposed to.

"We must educate young women that if someone has a pathological need for control, they can be a very dangerous individual," she continued.

"It's so important we help teenagers navigate these relationships and help them to spot the signs.

"Ellie's friends, we as parents - we all would have known more about coercive control, and we would have realised the danger she was in on that Friday morning."

According to the Office for National Statistics, 16-19 year olds face the highest rates of domestic abuse of any age group in Britain.

Founder Faustine Petron launched the Make It Mandatory campaign after entering into an abusive four-year relationship at the age of 16.

"Because of my age and the lack of education around it, I struggled to spot the signs of control and sometimes I mistook them as care, affection or attention," she said.

Petron said the relationship "robbed me of my best teenage years", even deferring her studies to Cambridge University in pursuit of a conviction against her abuser.

"Everything was on the right track for me and this completely derailed my life," she said.

"Had I stayed in that relationship any longer, I might not be here speaking to you today.

"We need the government to understand the urgency so that no more lives are lost."

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