Radio Cambridgeshire Presenters

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Q: Give us a potted history of your life so far...

A: Born in Goole in Yorkshire - the furthest inland port in Great Britain. Grew up in poverty and sackcloth before tricking my way into the establishment. Currently trying to bring it to its knees from the inside... ssssshhhhh don't tell them.

Q: When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?

A: Much Bigger

Q: What's the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to you?

A: Mr Blobby sitting on me at London Road; the public waxing my legs in the Queensgate Centre; or winning Mr Stella Polaris in a competition in Gran Canaria, whilst wearing lipstick, fishnets and high heels. Take your pick.

Q: What's the worst job you've ever had?

A: Evil Kneivel's stuntman

Q: Do you have a catchphrase?

A: Who's asking?

Q: What was the first record you ever bought?

A: Figaro - Brotherhood of Man - to my eternal pride. Much maligned, but their dance routines pushed the boundaries.

Q: What's your favourite food?

A: Large nuts and weird shaped vegetables.

Q: When Hollywood comes calling, who'll play you?

A: Liberace or Elton John. Both have nice fingers.

Q: In a fire, what would you rescue first?

A: The Hosepipe.

Q: What do you do to relax?

A: I practice Reiki, taught to me by the grand master of Nepal, whilst backpacking across the Himalayas in 1983. If that doesn't work I find James Blunt or Dido records usually put me to sleep.