Out and about

The Grunty Fen Rhubarb Festival is on bank holiday Monday 5th May, 2008 at Burwell Museum, 2pm-5pm

The Rhubarb Gods are a bunch of curiously mythical ideologues. Some say they demand the perpetual growing of rhubarb to satisfy the Rhubarb Cherubs who inhabit the space between rhubarb heaven and earth. Whether this is true or not, the Gods must have been angry of late, because the Grunty Fen Rhubarb Festival has returned again - clearly last year's demonstrations of rhubarb-inspired paraphernalia was simply not up to their exactly standards!

Once again, the festival comes from Burwell Museum and there is no better way to spend your bank holiday Monday than rooting yourself in some rhubarb-related revelry.

Pete Sayers as Dennis of Grunty Fen

BBC Radio Cambridgeshire's Christopher South will open the event in honour of Dennis of Grunty Fen. Mr South would often listen politely as Dennis weaved his Fen-based tales of mischief on the old wireless.

Then the serious stuff begins. First of all there will be the judging of the rhubarb that folk from across the county have brought with them, so there's no excuse for not bringing yours. Judges will be looking for the the biggest, smallest, reddest, longest, prettiest, ugliest, limpest, stiffest, bendyest, straightest, weirdest and/or moistest rhubarb. There will be a special prize for the rhubarb that meets all of those requirements.

There will also be a demonstration of rhubarb semaphore, displaying how Fenlanders would communicate over long distances before the days of pigeons, mobile phones and speech. Very few olde English traditions are as highly respected as this art form.

Rhubarb "Timperley Early"

Of course there will be the opportunity to write your own poem 'Ode to Rhubarb', and children are strongly encouraged, nay forced, to bring along drawings of the now long gone rhubarb forest (which is sadly now an Aldi) complete with the dinosaurs that roamed through it.

There's a fancy dress competition for children (of any age!) - girls come dressed as Miss Rhubarb and boys come dressed as Dennis. Christopher South will judge and present a prize to each winner. Bribery and corruption is encouraged, of course...

Glamorous guests Miss Rhubarb Tart and Miss Rhubarb Crumble will of course be in attendance while rhubarb and custard tea will be simmering away all day long to keep the Gods and punters happy and fed.

Plus, if the rain sweeps its way across the festival, which is unlikely as it has not rained in Burwell since 1957, (although some visitors to last year's festival may dispute that indisputable fact), there will be master classes in rhubarb umbrella making - it's simple and effective and is the perfect way to top off your designer wellies and Burberry jacket (other makes of overcoat are also available).

The Grunty Fen Rhubarb Festival is on Monday 5th May, 2008 from 2pm-5pm at Burwell Museum in Mill Close, Burwell. Car parking at the Gardiner Memorial Hall in the High Street. Prices: Adults - £3, Children - £1, Under 5s - Free, Season Ticket Holders - Free.